My Non Negotiables

If navigating menopause has shown me one thing, it's that I need to prioritise my own needs. Don't get me wrong, I've not turned into some selfish midlifer who has a list of demands. No, this doesn't involve anyone else doing anything for me. This is about what I do for myself.

For the longest time I would be the one to say yes. The one you could count on to support you, help you, visit you, be there to talk to, go on days out with, and ask me to participate in an adventure, there would be no holding me back (especially if it meant buying a whole load of new kit)!

But, along came menopause, she crept in with a headache, then a hot flush, a sprinkle of sleepless nights, she put me off white wine, and made me want to pee a whole lot more, made my feet ache and the brain fog, well, that didn't make me forget all those symptoms thats for sure!

But, as menopause enters stage right, estrogen starts to fade from view. This isn't great for many reasons, including our bone density wanes, our heart health needs more attention, where there was once no spare tyre around our middle one has appeared, our joints are less lubricated - hell, there are estrogen receptors all over the body so we feel it, everywhere!

Another but.... estrogen rises (in our menstruating years) before we ovulate, it's what helps us to find the opposite sex more attractive, to love everyone, to go into people please mode, to help with whatever we can, to procreate. Without that love hormone "high", we quite frankly start to view the world through a very different lens. Gone is the people pleaser, a good night is one where you don't get up to pee and you get 8 hours sleep,

So, in midlife, we begin to see what is important and for once in our lives start to put those needs first. My non negotiables are

• Sleep - to maximise the quality I don't engage with my phone once in the bedroom. Instead I take two magnesium, read a while, spritz some sleep spray and turn out the light

• Morning Meditation - when I rise, ideally before I touch my phone, I spend 5 minutes meditating. I know many people find this difficult, I like insight timer, it has many meditations of varying lengths for you to choose from

• Breath work - what this looks like varies each day (although currently I am doing a habit forming 15 minute breath practice with Stuart Sandeman)

• Movement - this starts with 5 minutes of bouncing on my rebounder whilst I wait for the kettle to boil. Then it's either yoga, strength, swimming or walking.

• Steps - I like to do 10,000 a day but sometimes it's around 6k sometimes much more

I find if I stick with these principles then I feel ok about the world. I love to ride my bike and swim in the sea but these have to fit around my life, I am lucky to work for myself and work at home and I find it difficult to fit these in as much as I would like. So, be realistic, think about what makes you feel good, think about when you best like to move, think about when you have pockets of time to utilise and make sure you start to prioritise what you need.

My new mantra is "what am I doing today for my 80 year old self" What will you do?

Taking time to meditate, in nature is my favourite place